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6 fragrances men need to stop wearing - Part 2

Cockblocking fragrances from the 90s that should've stayed in the 90s

"Good manners and good cologne

is what transforms the man into a gentleman"

~Tom Ford

Welcome to Part 2 - ​

6 cockblocking fragrances from the 90s that should've stayed in the 90s.

Quick recap:

I broke this blog up into two parts because turns out I have a lot to say about this topic and I feel very strongly about it.

So, if you missed Part 1 - Five general guidelines for wearing fragrance , I recommend you head over and have a read, if anything to get a good laugh but also because you will get value out of it (or share it with a friend who needs to read it, because we all have at least one of those friends).

I know I'm gonna cop a lot of heat for this article...

Feathers will be ruffled and noses will be put out of joint.

Quite literally...

And I am ready for it all!

I've been sitting on this forever, and I just can't hold it in anymore!

 

Wouldn't you agree with me that it's the best feeling ever to find a signature scent to match your style and personality, and you feel amazing when you wear it and get (genuine) compliments from strangers and friends who are just loving it??

 

Before I start, let me just insert this disclaimer:

I am not in any way an expert on fragrance, nor am I the authority on all things scent.

However, I am a girl with a (rather large) nose, and great taste, who knows what she likes.

Now, I genuinely care about you so I am writing this with love.

I will always be that honest friend who tells you if something's stuck in your teeth or if you're wearing something that isn't doing you any favours. Including fragrance.

In this part, I wanna talk about 6 fragrances from the 90s (guys, that's 30 years) that are dated and smell like crap, which is why I crowned them "COCKBLOCKERS".

I haven't personally done a poll based on thousands of chicks' opinions, but if a guy is wearing one of these, no matter how hot, smart, funny, amazing he might be - I am instantly turned off.

And now...DRUMRRROLLLL...

The LIST

# 6 Acqua Di Gio

Guys, this is not necessarily a bad smelling fragrance but here's why it made the list:

  1. It's unoriginal AF! Like, every.single.guy.ever owns or has owned this little bottle of potent tonic. I don't know about you, but I personally wouldn't wanna smell like everyone else.
  2. It's really, really strong and guys who wear it tend to go overboard to the point of sickening.
  3. If you hug someone who's wearing Aqua Di Gio, you will smell like it for the rest of the day or until you've washed the garment it rubbed off on and if you don't like it - you're stuck with it. 

# 5 Davidoff Cool Water

A sharp, cheap, dry tone that catches in your throat like bug spray and in all honesty is as dated wide leg pants. It's had its day and that day was around about 1991. We can bench this one along with wide leg raver pants, flip phones and fax machines.

Bye, Felicia.

#4 Joop

One of my all time biggest pet hates, cockblocker stanks.

How this has not been discontinued yet I have no idea...

I'm so sorry to the two guys I personally know who own and wear this daily. I love you guys but from the bottom of my heart, with care and compassion - please throw this crap away and move on.

#3 Calvin Klein CK One

Like I mentioned in PART 1 - Unisex Fragrances will pretty much always make you smell like a chick. In this case like a chick who is still living in the past.

Guys - you can do better.

Repurpose your beloved CK1 into a loo spray. Seriously, that's all it's good for.

#2 Jean Paul Gaultier, Le Male

Egh. Puke.

I am not even a little bit sorry.

This one is just #VOM.

Much like Cool Water, there's something sharp and powdery that catches in your throat, not to mention it's so sickly sweet I don't know how any man can wear this.

#1 Diesel Only The Brave.

And every other Diesel fragrance, for that matter.

I agree. You have to be brave to wear this. There is no accounting for bad taste and this bottle of stink is proof.

Nuff said.

A final word

OK, Guys. I know normally I'm all about being supportive and encouraging and elevating your soul. But there are times where tough love is needed.

Please remember that the operative word here is LOVE. I've got your back.

If you're stuck and you wanna find a sophisticated signature scent that suits you and makes you feel sexy and unique, let's talk. And keep your eyes peeled for my next blog - Panty dropping fragrances for Him.

Like I said earlier, this blog is bound to ruffle feathers and possibly upset some people, so I'm ready to cop the heat - let's have a conversation, let's talk. Have your say, make a comment, write me an angry email, whatever. I'm all in.

And, of course, share this with anyone you think needs to read this for whatever reason.

Xx

E.L

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