"Perfume is the most intense form of memory"
~ Jean-Paul Guerlain
I'm gonna cop a lot of heat for this article...
Feathers will be ruffled and noses will be put out of joint.
And I am ready for it all!
I've been sitting on this forever, and I just can't hold it in anymore!
Wouldn't you agree with me that it's the best feeling ever to find a signature scent to match your style and personality, and you feel amazing when you wear it and get (genuine) compliments from strangers and friends who are just loving it??
Before I start, let me just insert this disclaimer:
I am not in any way an expert on fragrance, nor am I the authority on all things scent.
However, I am a girl with a (rather large) nose, and great taste, who knows what she likes.
Now, I genuinely care about you so I am writing this with love.
I will always be that honest friend who tells you if something's stuck in your teeth or if you're wearing something that isn't doing you any favours. Including fragrance.
I broke this blog up into two parts because turns out I have a lot to say about this topic and I feel very strongly about it.
I recommend you read Part 1 first anyway because
A. I'm bloody hilarious and you'll miss out if you don't.
B. It's actually really great content and you might even learn something. And if not, at least you'll get a good laugh out of it.
PART 1: Five general guidelines for wearing fragrance
1. Go easy, Tiger...We don't wanna smell you before we can see you.
Calm down, mate - A couple of squirts of your good, good magic potion does the job.
Dousing yourself in your fave fragrance is an easy trap to fall into because:
- You personally love it and can't get enough of it.
- You have been using it for so long that you don't smell it anymore so you put more and more on.
Let me tell you something - It's actually inconsiderate and offensive. Just because you love it doesn't mean everyone else does. It's kind of like if you love listening to death metal and you walk around with a speaker and play it on full volume everywhere you go.
Also, if you're a hugger (then, you're awesome), you transfer your scent to whoever you have greeted with your delicious hugs.
Now, I'm all about hugs. Truly.
But I absolutely hate it with a vengeance when someone leaves their Eau De Whatever on me, specifically if it's listed in PART 2. I have a very particular taste and I wanna smell like me, not like you, no offence.
Two popular brands who make really potent fragrances are Chanel and Tom Ford. They are so strong and rich it actually makes me feel nauseous if I'm near someone who is wearing too much.
2. Celebrity Fragrances always smell like shit. Sorry not sorry.
If you haven't figured it out already, let me enlighten you -
Celebrity Fragrances are cheap and nasty and only serve one purpose - an entry-level price point for unassuming humans to buy into a brand.
Trust me - No celebrity EVER wears their own fragrance.
Unlike Nike, Just don't do it.
3. Body Spray is for pubescent boys.
Lynx, Axe, Whatever - If you're over the age of 16 (actually, in my humble opinion no matter what age you are, but let's let the teenagers have their day) please just don't go there.
Just like celebrity Perfumes - they smell cheap and nasty and probably contain more chemicals than (and kinda smell like) cockroach spray.
People tend to go hell for leather on these, too, so the over dousing situation is common here and honestly, I just wish these products vanished off the face of the earth.
4. Unisex Fragrances will almost always make you smell like a chick.
Not much to add to that heading.
If you're a straight guy and you wanna up your panty-dropping-chick-magnet game, avoid unisex fragrances.
Again - Tom Ford is one of those perfumes. Specifically his unisex styles like "Black Orchid" - sorry, I know it's a luxury scent but it's sickly sweet and has strong floral notes and totally makes you smell feminine. It's a NO from me.
5. Not wearing any fragrance is saying you have nothing to say.
Do you not have the need express yourself?
Do you not wanna be memorable?
Rhetorical questions because there's NO ONE who'd answer NO to these. (Not anyone who's reading my blog, anyway).
Ok, so because I'm a hippie, I know many awesome humans who don't wanna wear chemical perfumes because they have heaps of toxins in them and they care about using products that don't hurt the earth and its inhabitants.
That's cool, I'm so on board with that. I'm all about being healthy and not poisoning Mother Earth and our sacred temple which is our body. I legit get it.
An awesome way to smell amazing is Essential Oils. If you're a masculine kinda dude, just stick to the earthy notes like Cedar and the wood family in general.
BTW - any of my friends Earth Tribe Hippie friends - please let me know in comments or private message if you have any specific recommendations in this area, I'd love to hear from you. I know doTerra and Perfect Potion make yummy scents but not sure how masculine they are.
AND NOW... To the main event -
PS - Share this with someone you know needs to hear some hoome truths or just wants to have a good laugh.